Life is bigger than the things you learn at school.
Life is bigger than the jacket you will be wearing.
Life is bigger than the problems that haunt you and leave you desperate.
Life is bigger than +4, -1, and 0.
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Friday, April 19, 2013
Emotional marathon
After abandoning this blog for decades, I am back.
Not because it calls out to me. God, I even forgot that this exists.
I'm just upset right now.
Being upset turns me into a monster. I feel like punching something or someone. Even throwing myself from a one hundred-story building.
But blabbing in twitter doesn't sound good. And I don't have anybody to talk to. So here I am. Phrasing my anger into the world of the virtual.
I hate how things don't go smoothly as I expected. I hate how my face frowns even when I am in my most joyful mood. I hate having expectation of people treating me as good as I wish. I hate how my mom often doesn't keep her promise. I hate when I hear people laugh when I'm mad, as if they were laughing at my childish trait. I hate how I hate people. I hate being close to someone, because I know there will be one point in my life where she/he will disappoint me, it's always a circle I can not avoid. I hate how I always look like an ugly duckling in every goddamned photo ever taken in my life. I hate how I call myself solitaire just to deny the fact that I want attention. I hate how people hate me. I hate how people act nice in front of me as if I didn't know what kind of things they said behind. I hate how I overthink simple matter. I hate how I always consider people's opinions are important. I hate living up to expectation. I hate how people say I'm rude and bad fuck you you are nobody I have every right to be rude. I hate pushing people away, hah just joking. I love pushing people away, because I'm good at it. I hate feeling special. I hate feeling anything at all. If only they sold device to turn it off I would gladly buy them.
But mostly, I hate how I will regret posting this on the internet. How I quickly said I hate everything and shit.
P.S : I only need refreshment, sorry for making your eyes ache.
Not because it calls out to me. God, I even forgot that this exists.
I'm just upset right now.
Being upset turns me into a monster. I feel like punching something or someone. Even throwing myself from a one hundred-story building.
But blabbing in twitter doesn't sound good. And I don't have anybody to talk to. So here I am. Phrasing my anger into the world of the virtual.
I hate how things don't go smoothly as I expected. I hate how my face frowns even when I am in my most joyful mood. I hate having expectation of people treating me as good as I wish. I hate how my mom often doesn't keep her promise. I hate when I hear people laugh when I'm mad, as if they were laughing at my childish trait. I hate how I hate people. I hate being close to someone, because I know there will be one point in my life where she/he will disappoint me, it's always a circle I can not avoid. I hate how I always look like an ugly duckling in every goddamned photo ever taken in my life. I hate how I call myself solitaire just to deny the fact that I want attention. I hate how people hate me. I hate how people act nice in front of me as if I didn't know what kind of things they said behind. I hate how I overthink simple matter. I hate how I always consider people's opinions are important. I hate living up to expectation. I hate how people say I'm rude and bad fuck you you are nobody I have every right to be rude. I hate pushing people away, hah just joking. I love pushing people away, because I'm good at it. I hate feeling special. I hate feeling anything at all. If only they sold device to turn it off I would gladly buy them.
But mostly, I hate how I will regret posting this on the internet. How I quickly said I hate everything and shit.
P.S : I only need refreshment, sorry for making your eyes ache.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
