How I act

Comeback with not so many to tell. Hehe, here here hear.
I got so fed up with life recently. Fyuh. So full of drama. Tired of watching, playing, being a part of drama.

Eum here I got a confession to make.
I may act childish. I may laugh a lot. I may smile. I may make jokes. I may stay calm.
Yes, I do it in front of, dear beloved friends.
Have you ever seen how I act in front of my family?
I act angry. I speak rarely. Sometimes I speak a lot, but get ignored. I laugh when it's necessary.
So it's pretty much the contrary, the opposite.

I may laugh a lot in the school, because I don't do it a lot at home.
I may act childish in front of you guys, because I can't.
I may speak a lot, complain a lot, because I don't really talk in the family.
Well, yeah, pretty much.

I really apologize for being a super bitch to you. I'm sorry. I'm just like this. Uncontrollable. Moody. Messed up.

I'm not saying that I'm not happy at home. I am. It's just the way I get it at home and school is different. Some of you may think that I cover my all gloomy and dark attitude at home by being so childish,noisy,and bla-bla whatever. Yeah, you could call me so. But it's the way I want to have fun with you guys, because I can't find any other ways.


That's it I guess. Weird, eh?
Tell you what, I'm gonna have malua in two weeks more, WHOA. And next week, I'll have the tests. And at the end of the month, I'll have the semester exams. SUPER WHOA MONTH YEA. Okay, gotta go do bio task yeah. Wish me luck :D

Semuanya terlihat biasa saja

everyone puts their best photo on facebook. whatever the poses. but we don't know what had happened when the day it was taken.

everyone tweeted about love. but we don't know what actually the person had been through with her/his love life.

everyone shouts the worst status, or the best status. but we don't know what they actually meant.

I put my best photo. just to give an impression. for what? I don't know. It doesn't really make sense. Everything doesn't make sense.

I tweet good things. just to get it RT-ed sometimes. for what? It doesn't make sense.

I don't know. I sometimes feel that we're too early to judge someone.
Just because her photos look so adorable, doesn't mean she has the perfect life.
Just because he smiles on the photo, doesn't mean he's always happy.
Just because it is taken at a great view, doesn't mean he enjoys it.

I don't know.

When we meet people, we don't know what has happened to them.
All things look the same.
People who just hurt someone. People who just got hurt. People who just had a fight with someone important in their lives. People who just broke up with boy/girlfriends. We don't care, or not sensitive enough to see it.

I don't know.
I don't even know what I'm posting. But this is it.

Semuanya terlihat biasa saja.

Quick update

Yeahss. Hello first. Arrrggghhh. You see the layout? The background? I wanna stab myself. *eh not really actually* I destroyed all things! The layout, the background. Now I'm back with the template blogspot gives. Whatever. Too lazy to fix things up *yeahssss, so me*

So guess what? I'm having holidays!! Yaay. You ask for what? For whatever's sake. I don't care as long as I have my holiday, my day off B) Naaah, the 12th grader will have their government or national examinations from March 18th - I don't when. And then here it comes... Easter! Tada...

Me not really excited about it tho. Not that kind of girl. Weird. For your information, I've never joined any Easter celebration like what other used to do when they were kids. You know, like going to church very early in the morning, finding the hidden eggs, and so on. I can't even name the others. Huf. I guess it's me.. Yeah. How bout ya? I know. I'm asking no one since no one reads this dead blog.

I'm really thinking of making new blog. Since this one becomes to look like trash day by day. Since I can't customize the background and the layout anymore. I don't freaking know. It said 'it's not applicable for this theme'. Ye so whatever.

Tomorrow is Sunday yeeaaah. Going to church as usual. But tomorrow is kinda different from other Sundays. I'm going to join a bazaar. It's actually the Teenagers of HKBP Tj. Sari. Do you know Parguru Malua? We're seeking for fund for out retreat. Yeahs, wish we luck.

Been watching this video of Girls' Generation dozens time. Love love! Btw Jessica is going to be 22nd this Monday on April 18th. Oh unnie, wae so pretty? ;)

Don't laugh

Setiap orang pasti punya mimpi kan. Hihi, termasuk aku jugalah pasti. Mentel mungkin kedengarannya ya. Hahhahaha. Tapi gak salah juga kalo punya angan-angan kan.

Nyambung ke post sebelumnya juga sih ini. Terakhir kan aku post kl aku abis nonton film Wall Street : Money Never Sleeps. Dan di film itu aku liat pasar saham atau apalah namanya. Keren. Aku pengen kerja kayak gini. Kalo yang udah nonton pasti ngertilah. Yang kerjanya jual-jual saham gitu. Hecticnya di kantor itu kalo harga saham naik-turun. Kerja di sana itu pasti selalu hectic dan gak mudah. Aku gak tahu aku nilai darimana, tapi yang pasti kesan yang kudapat dari film itu, kalo kerja 'begituan' keren.

Hwehe. Cetek kali ya. Pengen kerja kayak gitu hanya karena berembel-embel keren. Itupun keren dari sudut pandang kita aja. Tapi selain dari faktor itu, sebelumnya aku juga udah berniat kian pengen kerja di bidang ekonomi gitu. Pls!!! Don't!!! Laugh!!!! After!!! Reading!!! This!!! Ini semua terinspirasi dari Sri Mulyani. Oh yeah! That madam! That cool madam! Gila ya.

Beliau ditawarin jadi manajer di Bank Dunia. Apa gak mantap kali itu. Dia itu cewe, hm, dianggap lemah dan dari Indonesia. Negeri yang dianggap sebelah mata sama negeri-negeri seberang sana karena perkembangan negara kita yang jalan di tempat mulu. Dalam hati, kapanlah aku bisa kayak gitu... Ck. Mimpi mungkin ya... Tapi segala sesuatu yang ingin dicapai kan diawali dari mimpi dulu. Jadi sah la ya aku mimpi bisa kayak dia? Satu hal lain yang aku suka dari dia itu sikap dia yang gak bisa didikte dan rasa gak takutnya sama orang yang di atasnya selama dia bertindak benar. Whew. Meskipun yaah, banyak berita miring tentang Madam Sri Mulyani, tapi she's really still one of my ultimate idols.
Back to topic tentang mimpi dan bermimpi, aku sering mimpi (berharap sih sebenernya) punya wardrobe isinya baju-baju yang ada di tumblr ato weheartit.com. Yang punya tumblr ato yang sering buka weheartit.com pasti ngertilah. Yang ga punya ato ga pernah buka? Buka sekarang!! Ayo cepat!! :p Maksudnya yang in gitulah, yang lagi ngetrend. Apalagi vintage thingiesnya. Beuh. Tiap liat pasti pengen punya.

Kayak gambar yang di bawah ini. Cewe mana coba yang ga pengen punya barang-barang semacam ini di wardrobe-nya?
Yaaa... Namanya juga cewe. Pasti pengen selalu keliatan cantik, menarik kan. Cewe mana yang ga pengen keliatan cantik, apalagi di depan gebetan. Huahahaha. Begetar tangan ngetiknya. Tapi kalo aku sendiri sih, lebih ke kepuasan diri. Kalo liat barang-barang keren di wardrobe itu rasanya puas, bangga, apalah namanya. Tapi ya namanya mimpi, ya tetep mimpi kalo ga diwujudin pake tindakan.

Istilahnya kalo disingkat kaya gini:
Mimpi -> punya wardrobe isinya baju-baju kewl
Tindakan -> -
Kenyataan -> sampai jaman jebot juga ga pakal keisi tuh wardrobe sama baju-baju begituan.

Semua mimpi yang kita punya itu harus diwujudkan dengan tindakan. Kalo berharap sama keajaiban atau mengharap dari Tuhan aja tanpa bekerja kan sama aja bohong, ya gak? Apalagi kalo ngandalin magic. Hahahha. Ya apapun mimpi kita, itu pasti bakal bisa diwujudkan. Se-silly apapun. Se-bego apapun. Se-gila apapun. Karena hal-hal yang besar itu gak jarang berawal dari hal-hal yang dianggap orang silly, gila, gak penting, buang-buang waktu, dll.

Aku sendiri sih boleh dibilang agak munafik ngepost ginian. Karena aku sendiri termasuk kategori orang yang paling malas mewujudkan mimpi. Karena takut. Karena malu. Karena pengecut. Yeah, you name it. Tapi dengan ngepost ginian, paling ga ada cambuk ato motivasi untuk ngeraih kan? Ya berdoa ajalah untuk yang ngepost ini hmmm (berdoa dimulai.... berdoa selesai).

Wets, tindakan yang kita lakukan untuk meraih mimpi itu juga harus dibarengi dengan doa ke Tuhan juga tapinya. Tanpa Tuhan, semuanya menjadi mungkin. Bersama Tuhan, everything is possible! Yeah.

Gitu deh. Sesuai judul entri, don't laugh. I know this really sounds weird, but somehow I just want to share something. And wish me tons of luck, too. I made a list of 101 things I have to do before I get into 16. Yes, I'm turning sixteen this year on September 19th. Whew, I'm such an oldiiiiieeee X(

Wish us luck with our dreams. Keep pursuing them coz I know everyone can!! ;)

Yeah. Still haven't got this so cool bag. UUUURRRRGGGH. In desperate need of bag-like-this X(