How I act

Comeback with not so many to tell. Hehe, here here hear.
I got so fed up with life recently. Fyuh. So full of drama. Tired of watching, playing, being a part of drama.

Eum here I got a confession to make.
I may act childish. I may laugh a lot. I may smile. I may make jokes. I may stay calm.
Yes, I do it in front of, dear beloved friends.
Have you ever seen how I act in front of my family?
I act angry. I speak rarely. Sometimes I speak a lot, but get ignored. I laugh when it's necessary.
So it's pretty much the contrary, the opposite.

I may laugh a lot in the school, because I don't do it a lot at home.
I may act childish in front of you guys, because I can't.
I may speak a lot, complain a lot, because I don't really talk in the family.
Well, yeah, pretty much.

I really apologize for being a super bitch to you. I'm sorry. I'm just like this. Uncontrollable. Moody. Messed up.

I'm not saying that I'm not happy at home. I am. It's just the way I get it at home and school is different. Some of you may think that I cover my all gloomy and dark attitude at home by being so childish,noisy,and bla-bla whatever. Yeah, you could call me so. But it's the way I want to have fun with you guys, because I can't find any other ways.


That's it I guess. Weird, eh?
Tell you what, I'm gonna have malua in two weeks more, WHOA. And next week, I'll have the tests. And at the end of the month, I'll have the semester exams. SUPER WHOA MONTH YEA. Okay, gotta go do bio task yeah. Wish me luck :D

Semuanya terlihat biasa saja

everyone puts their best photo on facebook. whatever the poses. but we don't know what had happened when the day it was taken.

everyone tweeted about love. but we don't know what actually the person had been through with her/his love life.

everyone shouts the worst status, or the best status. but we don't know what they actually meant.

I put my best photo. just to give an impression. for what? I don't know. It doesn't really make sense. Everything doesn't make sense.

I tweet good things. just to get it RT-ed sometimes. for what? It doesn't make sense.

I don't know. I sometimes feel that we're too early to judge someone.
Just because her photos look so adorable, doesn't mean she has the perfect life.
Just because he smiles on the photo, doesn't mean he's always happy.
Just because it is taken at a great view, doesn't mean he enjoys it.

I don't know.

When we meet people, we don't know what has happened to them.
All things look the same.
People who just hurt someone. People who just got hurt. People who just had a fight with someone important in their lives. People who just broke up with boy/girlfriends. We don't care, or not sensitive enough to see it.

I don't know.
I don't even know what I'm posting. But this is it.

Semuanya terlihat biasa saja.

Quick update

Yeahss. Hello first. Arrrggghhh. You see the layout? The background? I wanna stab myself. *eh not really actually* I destroyed all things! The layout, the background. Now I'm back with the template blogspot gives. Whatever. Too lazy to fix things up *yeahssss, so me*

So guess what? I'm having holidays!! Yaay. You ask for what? For whatever's sake. I don't care as long as I have my holiday, my day off B) Naaah, the 12th grader will have their government or national examinations from March 18th - I don't when. And then here it comes... Easter! Tada...

Me not really excited about it tho. Not that kind of girl. Weird. For your information, I've never joined any Easter celebration like what other used to do when they were kids. You know, like going to church very early in the morning, finding the hidden eggs, and so on. I can't even name the others. Huf. I guess it's me.. Yeah. How bout ya? I know. I'm asking no one since no one reads this dead blog.

I'm really thinking of making new blog. Since this one becomes to look like trash day by day. Since I can't customize the background and the layout anymore. I don't freaking know. It said 'it's not applicable for this theme'. Ye so whatever.

Tomorrow is Sunday yeeaaah. Going to church as usual. But tomorrow is kinda different from other Sundays. I'm going to join a bazaar. It's actually the Teenagers of HKBP Tj. Sari. Do you know Parguru Malua? We're seeking for fund for out retreat. Yeahs, wish we luck.

Been watching this video of Girls' Generation dozens time. Love love! Btw Jessica is going to be 22nd this Monday on April 18th. Oh unnie, wae so pretty? ;)

Don't laugh

Setiap orang pasti punya mimpi kan. Hihi, termasuk aku jugalah pasti. Mentel mungkin kedengarannya ya. Hahhahaha. Tapi gak salah juga kalo punya angan-angan kan.

Nyambung ke post sebelumnya juga sih ini. Terakhir kan aku post kl aku abis nonton film Wall Street : Money Never Sleeps. Dan di film itu aku liat pasar saham atau apalah namanya. Keren. Aku pengen kerja kayak gini. Kalo yang udah nonton pasti ngertilah. Yang kerjanya jual-jual saham gitu. Hecticnya di kantor itu kalo harga saham naik-turun. Kerja di sana itu pasti selalu hectic dan gak mudah. Aku gak tahu aku nilai darimana, tapi yang pasti kesan yang kudapat dari film itu, kalo kerja 'begituan' keren.

Hwehe. Cetek kali ya. Pengen kerja kayak gitu hanya karena berembel-embel keren. Itupun keren dari sudut pandang kita aja. Tapi selain dari faktor itu, sebelumnya aku juga udah berniat kian pengen kerja di bidang ekonomi gitu. Pls!!! Don't!!! Laugh!!!! After!!! Reading!!! This!!! Ini semua terinspirasi dari Sri Mulyani. Oh yeah! That madam! That cool madam! Gila ya.

Beliau ditawarin jadi manajer di Bank Dunia. Apa gak mantap kali itu. Dia itu cewe, hm, dianggap lemah dan dari Indonesia. Negeri yang dianggap sebelah mata sama negeri-negeri seberang sana karena perkembangan negara kita yang jalan di tempat mulu. Dalam hati, kapanlah aku bisa kayak gitu... Ck. Mimpi mungkin ya... Tapi segala sesuatu yang ingin dicapai kan diawali dari mimpi dulu. Jadi sah la ya aku mimpi bisa kayak dia? Satu hal lain yang aku suka dari dia itu sikap dia yang gak bisa didikte dan rasa gak takutnya sama orang yang di atasnya selama dia bertindak benar. Whew. Meskipun yaah, banyak berita miring tentang Madam Sri Mulyani, tapi she's really still one of my ultimate idols.
Back to topic tentang mimpi dan bermimpi, aku sering mimpi (berharap sih sebenernya) punya wardrobe isinya baju-baju yang ada di tumblr ato weheartit.com. Yang punya tumblr ato yang sering buka weheartit.com pasti ngertilah. Yang ga punya ato ga pernah buka? Buka sekarang!! Ayo cepat!! :p Maksudnya yang in gitulah, yang lagi ngetrend. Apalagi vintage thingiesnya. Beuh. Tiap liat pasti pengen punya.

Kayak gambar yang di bawah ini. Cewe mana coba yang ga pengen punya barang-barang semacam ini di wardrobe-nya?
Yaaa... Namanya juga cewe. Pasti pengen selalu keliatan cantik, menarik kan. Cewe mana yang ga pengen keliatan cantik, apalagi di depan gebetan. Huahahaha. Begetar tangan ngetiknya. Tapi kalo aku sendiri sih, lebih ke kepuasan diri. Kalo liat barang-barang keren di wardrobe itu rasanya puas, bangga, apalah namanya. Tapi ya namanya mimpi, ya tetep mimpi kalo ga diwujudin pake tindakan.

Istilahnya kalo disingkat kaya gini:
Mimpi -> punya wardrobe isinya baju-baju kewl
Tindakan -> -
Kenyataan -> sampai jaman jebot juga ga pakal keisi tuh wardrobe sama baju-baju begituan.

Semua mimpi yang kita punya itu harus diwujudkan dengan tindakan. Kalo berharap sama keajaiban atau mengharap dari Tuhan aja tanpa bekerja kan sama aja bohong, ya gak? Apalagi kalo ngandalin magic. Hahahha. Ya apapun mimpi kita, itu pasti bakal bisa diwujudkan. Se-silly apapun. Se-bego apapun. Se-gila apapun. Karena hal-hal yang besar itu gak jarang berawal dari hal-hal yang dianggap orang silly, gila, gak penting, buang-buang waktu, dll.

Aku sendiri sih boleh dibilang agak munafik ngepost ginian. Karena aku sendiri termasuk kategori orang yang paling malas mewujudkan mimpi. Karena takut. Karena malu. Karena pengecut. Yeah, you name it. Tapi dengan ngepost ginian, paling ga ada cambuk ato motivasi untuk ngeraih kan? Ya berdoa ajalah untuk yang ngepost ini hmmm (berdoa dimulai.... berdoa selesai).

Wets, tindakan yang kita lakukan untuk meraih mimpi itu juga harus dibarengi dengan doa ke Tuhan juga tapinya. Tanpa Tuhan, semuanya menjadi mungkin. Bersama Tuhan, everything is possible! Yeah.

Gitu deh. Sesuai judul entri, don't laugh. I know this really sounds weird, but somehow I just want to share something. And wish me tons of luck, too. I made a list of 101 things I have to do before I get into 16. Yes, I'm turning sixteen this year on September 19th. Whew, I'm such an oldiiiiieeee X(

Wish us luck with our dreams. Keep pursuing them coz I know everyone can!! ;)

Yeah. Still haven't got this so cool bag. UUUURRRRGGGH. In desperate need of bag-like-this X(

First, first, first!!!! My deepest condolence goes for Japan. Oh my God, the tsunami is really horrible. It blows up almost anything. Wow. Japan is one of those developed countries and they are really aware of this issue, this kind of thing. They've built very strong building which is already prepared for this kind of thing, the earthquake thing. But still. The nature is really expressing its anger, maybe? Just by seeing the video on tv, I know that it is really horrible. Really.. I hope the best for all Japanese.

I have this one week holiday. Say yeay!!!! The twelfth graders are having their UAS. Hope the best for them. Hm, I'm so excited yet confused. What should I do in this holiday. I've thought many cool things to do, like baking, swimming, watching movies with friends, buying bags. And then reality strikes. I don't have that much time. Hah. Bimbel here, les there. My schedule and my friends' schedule crash, you know. We can't find the time to do all these cool things together. Beside, I think none of us want to 'sacrifice' our tight activities. Heh.

So I guess I'll just spend my time with laptop and dvds! I'm just going to be online for the whole week I guess. So booorrrriiiinnnnnnggggg. You know, I sometimes secretly wish I had that kind of life where I could hang out with my friends, holding shop bags, laughing so hard, taking pictures, whatever. You name them. That girly thing routines we often see in movies. It's just... cute. I don't know.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. I've watched like so many movies recently. Yeah, that many until I have no feeling to collect any of those movies that I've listed. But....... Wall Street : Money Never Sleeps is a great one.

The tense feeling, the romantic, the drama, and the rare vocabularies there were kinda driving me mad. Hehe. The end is quite predictable, though. But the casts are totally cool. Michael Douglas, Carrey Mulligan, Shia LaBeouf are really awesome. I really love the couple. Perfect for each other. Heheee... And after watching the movie, I really feel like being economic is totally cool. I mean, the idea of growing career in economy is really into me. Whether to become a broker, an expert, an accountant or whatever, I really want to become one of those people. It's interesting what I watch in movie. The tense feeling people have in stock market. It's just... wow.

Yeah, I guess that's it.
"Money's the bitch that never sleeps – and she's jealous" - Wall Street 2"

Lesson learned.

Flat day. Kinda good actually. I behave like what a normal girl does. Well, the thing is I've made such a hard decision. I have to choose between attending so-called-family party or competing in a debate. I really love to join the competition. Since I found the last one is quite enjoyable. I really love to! But in other hand, I have to attend this party. Because I have to. I want to! Gah, life is all about choices. Why can't I divide my body into some parts so that I could attend both of this important events. Anyway I finally choose to attend the party on the 5th. This won't happen twice. Beside, if I attend these both, I can't focus on both of them. It will be a mess, maybe. Just hope for the best.

Wew, I really want to do some shopping. Whatever kind of shopping. I want to have new clothes, pants, shoes, nail-polish, dvds, blabla. I know this is being greedy not grateful or whatever. But these days are just so tiring. Exams are definitely over but tasks aren't. They are always everywhere. Teachers give us tons of presentation tasks. Hahhhh.

Sometimes I don't really like being myself. For I demand perfection too much. I want everything I do, I have, to be flawless, and exactly, yes exactly, as I want. This is being too arrogant right? I can't just help it. That's why sometimes I'd rather do a group task myself than have someone do it. Because I'm afraid it will not be as exactly as I want.
I remember thinking these lacey socks sucked a lot when I was in elementary school. My mom used to make me use this to church and to school (rarely of course, it's forbidden actually). I used to think that these things are awful and I was ashamed of wearing them.

And I remember thinking that this kind of collar was so uncool. Like it was so awful and I didn't want to have it.

But now? Hell. I want these items so much. I really love to have some lacey socks or this kind of cute collar. Why regrets always come late? I used to think that good things are just things which are becoming trend but it turned out to be wrong. I remember I didn't really like something vintage back then. But now? I'm so in love with all vintage pictures, especially that vintage fashion things. But I have no guts so wear them, even worse, I don't know where to buy that kind of things.

What I'm trying to say is, don't say that you dislike something so bad that you don't want to have or whatever the verb, in your life. Sometimes, things happen in the opposite way. I'm not saying that I never do this. I often. I can't seem to realize that this kind of thing happens in life. We don't always get what we want. God gives what we really need. And sometimes, what we think is good for us, is not. And I'm telling this as well, more like a thought, some kind of sharing to you who read this, and to me too. Please don't let the regrets come to us. It always sucks, believe me.

First day first

The first day of March! Ah, quite sad, disappointing. I even cried today. I cried so hard yet so quiet until my eyes got swollen. They were really red and it was even hard to blink. But now they are quite okay.

Today is also my first day of PMS this month. That's why I'm being soooo emotional. I felt broken.
All I can do is just disappointing, making people around me feel sad. Why can't I make someone be happy? Am I that bad? I'm just never good enough for anyone.

I can't go on this month like this. And I don't want the rest of the days in this month to be like this, all gloomy and sad!! I gotta wake up, cheer myself up. I have to survive through this month.

Today is Justin Beaver's birthday. Yeah, that other girls' idol. Tell him I say happy birthday. He must be feeling so glad to have me congratulate him. It's an honor you know. wkwkwk

AND FYI, MY Ron's having his birthday today! Happy birthday dear!! Wish you the very best. Keep being funny ;;;)

Hm, back to topic. I'm gonna be strong and I promise (really, I mean this) to fill this blog like every week. Yes, this blog has to live up and rise. Ha. Whatever. Guess this is it. Good bye!!

Lame.

Yellow.
It's too damn late to say this. I finally changed my header or banner or whatever!!!!
Hahahaha.... Better than never right? But something went really error. I can't change my background argh urgh. Never mind thooo.

It's 2 days more to March. Kinda excited. My amigo is going to launch (eh?) her new house on March 5th. Boo-yaaahhh. It's going to be huge I guess hihi. And it's gonna be fun!! Since my old classmates are all invited. Hehe some meet up again with my beloved buddiesss<3 Seriously I can't wait... I hope all the best for you March. Really. I don't wanna be cashless. Pst I wanna buy some new clothes. No time in this hectic February. No one to accompany me, too. Arh, where are my friends when I need them? :-p


By the way I've watched the Black Swan. Natalie Portman is truly an actress. Oh my God!!!! Nina Sayers awww. You got me eeee during the movie. She is truly brilliant, excellent. Exceptional, man. And her killer body. Aw my. I want that. One of the greatest actress now. Yeah she is. She really deserves an Academy Award for this. She's pregnant now by the way. All the best for the baby..

Exams r ova. Yay!!!! But I'm not really free at all. There are way too many tasks. Presentations, discussions, whatever.... Is it so hard to just let us be free for a while, teachers? Jeez, I can't watch the dvds then. I should be doing my task now actually. But internet seduces me.. Ah... That's the naughty of you internet. (yuck)

I'm looking forward to having this kind one bag, really. A mulberry. Me wantey so much. I just don't know where to find it here, in Medan. Anyone (like there is anyone reading my blog, really?) who knows please let me know? He. Sorry for bad grammar.

I'm really into seeing vintage stuffs. Feels like I wanna have all of them. Like these pictures below. So cute I could dieeeeeeeeee *o*

my fave one. A lace dress. I already have one by the way. Em maybe two. They're white and cream :-p hehe but this pastel pink one is the most wanted. And the shoes will make a good combination if I dare to say. hehehe

I want a single classic watch like this one. Ugh. Isn't it so cute? Right? Right? Arghhh.

Love. Whatever. You define it yourself.

New things!

Hey'all!!!!!!! Howz life eh?
It's 2011 already hehe. Duh, I'm so not up-to-date. Actually I have lots of free time to update my blog. But as usual, laziness always wins. So on this day, on this Chinese New Year, I'm gonna say :
"Happy Chinese New Year for everyone who celebrate!!"

I don't know what people usually do on this day. I'm not a Chinese. Beside, believe me, I never attend any of Chinese NY Celebrations. Yeah, poor thing. Oh, one thing I know is that people usually give angpao... Hehe. But I rarely get, tho. Since I got not so many relatives nor friends who are Chinese.

Have you realized ehhh? I got new name and new url for my blog. Hehehe. I feel pretty bored with the last one. Beside, the previous name I had was a little weird and meaningless. But now? I have Pink Pacific as the name and floralnerdencyclopedia as url.

Pink Pacific is not a new thing. It was my previous url. Why Pink Pacific? Because I love hearing it and it has a special meaning, well not really special actually. Pink is my most favorite color and Pacific is the name of the ocean. Ocean is a really large, big thing right?! And this blog, well I hope, will be a big thing, too. This blog has big meaning for me, even if not for now at least for whenever it will be :p So I combine these two words and get Pink Pacific :]

floralnerdencyclopedia? Hm, actually in the first time, I wanted a whatanerdwants url. But unfortunately it is taken by somebody else. Feel a lil disappointed tho but it's fine. Then I try to search a new url that has somewhat relation to nerd thing. First, it's because I'm a nerd, I just realized it and I'm proud of being a nerd. Second, a quote "Nerds kiss the best" from a novel recently comes up to my mind. Mind me, I'm not a pervert. It's just like, ehm, I'm feeling like nerd isn't always someone who's only good in school, interested in books, or other things whatsoever. They can do best at other things, too. Well in that proverb it's kissing :p hehe whatever laaaah. Back to url, I always love flower. The thought of flower always calms me down. I love floral pattern, too. And I'd love to combine the words.... floralnerd is a name I want to be described ;p And encyclopedia? Well, it's a book that almost tells everything right? And this blog will tell everything about me, maybe? Hehe I'm not that sure.

So here it is. Pink Pacific and floralnerdencyclopedia. The only thing that bothers me about the url is, my biology tentor told us that flower is somehow the name of plants' genital. Ugh, but just don't think about this that way okay? And one thing! I'd really love to change the banner and the background as well. But this may take a long time since I'm really lazy to make such things. Hopefully I can do this during this CNY's holidays (I've got only 2 day holidays ugh).

I've been really craving for a leather jacket!!! I read Go!Girl's January issue and saw a leather jacket combined with a white tee and maxi floral skirt. And it goes really lovely. On another entry, I'll post the picture ok? I told my mom I wanted one but she told me I'm not going to have any since real leather jacket is very expensive and she told me that the synthetic one is smelly =0=. After a few days, I figured out that my dad just bought a leather jacket. And as usual, as a normal woman who likes to gossip, my mom told my dad about me wanting one. And he teased me about that hellyeeeeah.

(this is not the picture)

Please anyone? Buy me one? u.u

Lately I've found it enjoyable seeing runway photos (or whatever the names are). These are one of my fave one ehhe.
I really don't know from what collection these are. Since I found them in a social-bookmark site, weheartit.com. Credit for wonderful designer(s) who've made these incredible dresses. I wish I had one!

-dina